study period

every time, this time of the year, i would be packing my bag full of notes and texts, and then meeting up with my friends at random places in singapore, generally places with chairs and tables, to study for our upcoming exams.

most of the time, we would have some subjects in common, be it geography, maths, english, chinese, literature... just something. We had sit at various cafeterias, mac donald's (most memorably, the one at bukit timah), with our walkmen/discmen/md players out just studying, munching, studying, listening to music and studying studying studying. we had mini breaks between studies, just talking to each other, walking to shops to have a look, talk about everything else but study.

being the testiest time of the year, it is also when the tears come out, when feelings get in the way, when people are raging because they are so mentally stressed out.

me and Q often went to the airport to study, between studying and eating, we had be watching planes fly by, talk about what we want to do in the future, what we think we should be doing to get there.

i lost my entire bag worth of money, pager (back then, handphones were like :O expensive) and my precious precious notes, while waiting for q to turn up with her bf. i thought they had arrived, were playing a prank on me, and just sat and read while waiting for them to get over their childishness. but then, an hour passed, then 2. and then i realised, er, my stuff were stolen. on the one hand, i was upset. q was kind late, which meant i had no way to contact her, nor to call anyone, nor to buy food, coz i was hungry.

on the other hand, i was on the verge of tears coz those notes were months of hardwork put into it. you might ask, wtf did i even leave my bag alone in such a public place? i guess familiarity starts making u trust. it was such an open area, and i was just away to make a 10cts call, so i just carried 10cts to the phone booth and came back. the only thing that was left, was my other notes that werent in the bag. it was a short walk, it was an open area, i never thought someone had just steal and had easily get away.

Leaving an all girls' school was perhaps one of the scariest event of my life. for the first time, in all my years of proper education, i have to face with post puberty but still kiddo guys. with all the stories my friends filled me in with their boyfriends and so on, i must admit, i got really edgy. it was also the first time i moved outta my green polka dotted uniform that i have grown to love so much too. and right into the ugliest possible uniform, which is also tedious to take care of. i went from this

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to a grey coloured 2 piece uniform, which in all stupidity had a PINK strip just below the shirt, to make it a faux tuck in of some sort. in all my possible ideas, i could not phantom why they made that pink strip amidst all that greyness. and because i was so comfortable in my 1 piece uniform, that 2 piece thing annoyed me so much, especially the ironing needed. most of the time, my old uniform just needed ironing around the collar and that's it. anything else could be just hung straight and they clear up.

at any rate, most of my friends went a different path from me, choosing to go vocational institutes rather than academic ones. i am kinda more of a reader and thinker than a worker at that point (not much has changed anyways :o) so off i went, back into higher lvlled versions of literature, and whatever other bullshit.

because of such a background, most of my friends, especially closer ones, are still girls. they are still the ones i run to when i have problems, when i need to cry and so on, because i just feel weird confiding in guys. like i do say some stuff, but i won't cry infront of them. tough bitch? nar.. just being.. ah.. well nvm.

3 whole years of jurong institute, which is now kinda defunct and formed millenia institute with outram institute, and all my studying were mostly done with a friend i found in my first year, called yj. oh she has a longer name than that, but i m just used to typing it as yj...

the same thing goes, studying, eating, shopping for snacks. we both have this chocolate tooth.. and we used to eat fries while studying (T_T i miss macdonald's @ bukit timah) and coke!!! oh yer.. those were the days.

when we study up too late, dad would sometimes pick me up and we had try and chat amidst the wind on his motorbike back home, about yj and her dad, about china, about studying and so on.

i miss all that. trying to do that again right here, feels weird, because i am all alone. nobody really goes maccas to study. people do in the library, but behind these cabo something tables, that shields u from the other person.

it's at times like these, i especially miss q and yj because there isn't someone to complain to, to discuss with and msn isnt the same as looking someone in the face and just gabbling away.

and as i munch away on my notes, in canberra there isnt a 24 hr place where i can run to to have midnight snacks with dad like roti prata or just a cuppa to talk and talk, because he isn't here and there's no 24 hr food stuff.

i miss home in a different way from some people. it's not just about familiarity or the people, it's the routines that i miss. and for once, i do wish i am back in singapore, escaping the humidity in the airport, studying with a chummy friend of mine.

sigh. stupid studying making me miss home.

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