me0w summoner~

my new summoner on the test server... she's 61 now, this is the 3rd cat and the 2 cubics. the purple one paralyses mobs, the greenish one.. uhm well its supposed to imitate my attacks but does nothing but wind strikes, which are pretty strong imo. it's just, if i am sleeping mobs, it wakes them, so annoying -.-"

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i simply have to announce this no matter how gh3y it's going to make me sound or retarded it may seem.

a few weeks ago i was meant to present something else and couldn't due to some error and etc, and had to email some lecturer and so on. for some odd reason nobody replied my email from my uni email account =/ which made me real sad, and obviously upset coz it's worth some %%%%%%.

just before i turned off my monitor though, i felt i had to check some email. voila, email from lecturer. and he was all nice and not so sarcastic and etc this time too. but, it's in my gmail!!! how the hell!!!!!

so anyways.. yay!!! he replied but not about my presentation though. so now i am waiting for another reply!!!

^.^ happiness...
sigh... take home exam is today. i dont feel like looking at it.

anyone wana volunteer doing it for me? it's not very hard, just some taxation legal stuff ^.^ i am sure you will enjoy doing it!! oh yes, and there are some other exams as well!!

lol, i feel weird. exams all around me, i am playing games hardcore still, reading during bath breaks and getting real stressed that i run back to playing games anyways. oh, don't worry i actually know my work. it's just stress builds up due to exams and assignments due anyways. just part and parcel of it.

i remember my first 4 assignments which were due conseceutively. by the second paper i was writing, i got so upset with it, slammed my laptop shut, started crying and set as far away from my laptop as was possible in my tiny dorm room.

call it a mental breakdown or whatever you want. i didn't want to disappoint anyone's hope in me, least of which my own expectations of myself. but i guess having too high an expectation can lead to fear of making urself look retarded to urself. i don't want to make myself upset like that again, because i want to enjoy life as it is. i loved studying and making myself scared of it sounds terrible.

it sounded like i was going insane.

i guess that's when i got addicted to games too. on the one hand i can play and study at the same time, on the other i can "relax" too. they have their own stresses, as i found out later. but in the mean time, i can "be with" my friends who arent here with me, and i miss them horribly (although those that i love the most dont happen to play games o.o). these "games" brings some form of normality in a new place that i just came to.

admittedly i felt very at home here, but places does not equate people, and i do long faces of familiarity at times.

but wouldn't you?

anyways i am napping for a while, before i go off and pick up my take home.

night night people ^.^


sense of time~

knowing that some how i will fuck up my first day back at school, i set up alarm for the time i should wake...

and totally miss the waking hours by about 3 hours and thus missing the only class of the day Image Hosted by ImageShack.us. coz, i set the alarm at 2 am instead of 2 pm. how retarded can i get....

don't you remember times like these, where u can just turn back the clock and change everything so that u don't fuck it up like how u did? i know it's just the first day back at school. but i have this really bad ah.... belief... that if i fuck up the first time for the week, day, month, the rest of it is going to be like that Image Hosted by ImageShack.us.

i will try not to screw up this thursday. i swear.

meanwhile, reading back on the news, i saw something familiar from somewhere i have read. turns out today's news/magazine, was the first instalment of the forged hitler's diaries on stern. probably an incident that everybody wants to forget, or wish they didn't do.

it was perhaps the classic case of media stupidity, where minimal checks were done on the diaries to see if they were forgeries. pure greed of the possibility of high readership rates, made them only had 1 real authencity check. for the stern magazine, it was a very expensive lesson learnt (9 million marks back then should be worth a few more millions today) but for others, like the "expert" involved back then, Lord Dacre, his reputation was forever tarnished and linked to the diaries. for someone who's work involves hitler, that is a fairly harshed lesson.

time. if only there was more time, if only we could turn back time and change the mistakes that we did, what would you have done? would you have done things any differently or would u have stayed the same despite all the fuck ups u have?

not forgetting that the fuck ups made me the person that i am today..

i think i rather stay the same Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

so this is how shit i feel like right now

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cartman n smoke

oh oops... forgot a picture of of smokes.....

this is just awesome !!!!!!! it looks JUST LIKE SMOKE!!!

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find of the day...

found this last week...

and i am having this huge urge to port over to usa and just buy tens of these so that if these ever break, i have one to back it up!!! go anna sui!!!!!!!!!!!

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end of holidays

in a bang, 2 weeks gloss over, and now i have to go back to that mundane life of attending classes and mid sems are coming up Image Hosted by ImageShack.us. i am not sure if i welcome it especially after 2 weeks of pure gaming and have touched little, if at all on my books.

don't get me wrong, i still love studying i still love doing the readings, it's just there's so much workload i can't seem to have a normal life. i don't remember the last time i watched tv, perhaps when i went back to singapore. i don't remember when i last went out with friends for a normal shopping trip and just spend my own money. those are the few things i miss. i dont like relying on my parents so much it's so fucking annoying.

but i love school. i guess, for stuff you love, there are prices to pay.

on a different note, i just got mail somewhere last week from the australian governement. at first i thought, omg, am i guna get deported or something? then it wrote there "australian electoral commission" or something. basically the mail was asking me to vote.

even though they mentioned IF YOU ARE AN AUSTRALIAN CITIZEN, it still sounds stupid. every year i write out cards that i am leaving australia as a NON CITIZEN and to have mails like that coz they dont bother cross referencing sounds dumb. of course i can always fill it up, send it in and if they accept it, in a few years if i ever get kicked out of the country i be like "LOOKIEEEE U ACCEPTED IT!! ME IS AUSTRALIAN!!! HAHAHAAH!!!" pwned!!! Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

on another note, while i was out for dinner just now, a girl ran past me with a very tight very white t shirt. there's nothing extraordinary about it, believe me. every day u see someone like that. the difference between this girl and most other normal people is, she is almost flat chested, so i guess this would probably explian why she chose her fashion as what she did... she was bra-less. her dark coloured nipples were poking out, perhaps the only ah.... peaky stuff on that section of her body.

it's fairly disturbing though to see nipples that pronounced and worn that way when ur trying to eat. looking at her nipples and her areoles... then looking back on the shitake mushrooms i was trying to eat... well suddenly i didnt feel like eating anymore Image Hosted by ImageShack.us. i am sure everyone can see the similarities between them 2 things and why i felt repulsed suddenly...

dont look at people's chest when ur eating, general advise from the great panda...

for those rich people or people who are interested in supporting a kid in third world countries, i have a form from world vision to sponsor a kid, accompanied with a kid's pict as well. she's a 9/10 years old kid (i can't count), drop by my house or email me for more info. email addie, may i remind everyone, is over -----------> this side. you can gather some friends and share the costs if u wana sponsor and so does ur friends but school, money and so on doesnt allow it.

while some may whine, oh we can barely support ourselves, to be honest, u can eat out less, learn to cook more and yer, u have ur 40ausd a month. or 30, or whatever. while it's spare change to us, or 2 meals to us, it's about a monthly's worth to them, so just cough it up, not that hard Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

i have been supporting a kid for about 2 years now, she's turning 4 this may!!!! so happy, and she's so cute too hehehee... ok so i am a sucker for kids, shut up and get over it. they are sssooo cute, although after they hit like 13, they stop being cute and gets to be a nuisance, especially if ur their parents.

but look at it this way, when they are all independent from you, u just wish that sometimes ur back in those days where they are annoying, dependent on you and that... well u just miss them. kids... what joy! lol... Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

all right, back to the last few hours of playing ...


holiday mood

wow i havent posted in... almost a week now! have been playing lineage hardcore on the test server, trying to test out new skills, the new systems, new places to lvl in as well as hoping to find out more information on some stuff in the game.

no i haven't been ditching class, i am having my well deserved 2 week break and thankfully, thankfully.... i was feeling so stressed lol...

dad called the other day, with the most hilarious scenario to report. the reason why he called me was coz mum was on a roll again, bragging to people that she had been giving me 300bux a mth for allowance.

i havent receive anything.

and since the guests she was bragging to were still at home, dad put me on speaker phone while she tries to cover up the fact that she was... just bragging, nothing substantial. so i have been poor for the last 3 months coz of mum's bragging, false promises, yet again. thankfully this time i am more prepared for such situations.

dad on the other hand was laughing his head off >.> he probably found it funny to hear that i was poor. back in singapore i was often in such situation but coz i was working as well i could always find ways around it. but obviously this is not possible here.

and as i play the test server more, i find out more about my "friends". honestly, i dont know what would happen if say i interact with them more irl. helping them ingame on a test server (not even a real server!) i found many of them "borrowing" money ingame and not returning it, then getting all high and mighty on me, and so on and so forth.

and then there are those who do stupid shit and think they are oh, so enterprising. there will come a day where i will snap, mind you, and just yell the fuck out of them and embarass them publicly. i don't get why people are like that. it is but a game, they join in game just hoping to annoy the fuck out of you, behaving like totally retarded people, or take advantage of the fact that you're nice.

it's just totally off.

anyways, disregarding all that...

i discovered the nicest thing on earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i didnt take a pict of it =/

but, the bread and dips at the pub nearby is mmmmmmmmmmmm......... the dips are gorgeous, the bread is awwwwwww nicely done. i only meant to order it as an entree but damn its alot, its not even a light meal o.o will figure someway to take a pict of it soon!!

ok i am just rambling here, will talk more in the morning!!! gogo holidays!!!

sleep + games = win!!!


kids say the darnest things!!!

was running through some websites and blogs and hit upon this funny thing.

damn hilarious, how kids think, the stuff they say, and when u ask them 20 years later, they would be like "fuck no! i didn't say such stupid things!"

i will admit, when my parents first asked me how i think babies/kids were made, this was my ultimate, star-winning reply:

"babies are made from stars, they drop down from the sky and right into your belly... sometimes if they fall too fast, a huge bird would catch them and carry them safely into the belly..."

mum:" so you mean daddy can be pregnant too?"

me:" yer why not? (points to dad's belly) isn't that what's happening now?"

they never ever forget that -.-"

at any rate, this is what i found!

What Exactly Is Marriage??- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents" -Eric, AGE 6

How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry??- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." -Kelly, AGE 9

"My mother says to look for a man who is kind....That's what I'll do....I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -Carolyn, AGE 8

Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married.- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Eighty-four Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." -Carolyn, AGE 8

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife" -Bert, AGE 5

What Do Most People Do on a Date??- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -Martin, AGE 10

"Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love." -Craig, AGE 9
he Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married??- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan" -Kirsten, AGE 10

"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them" -Anita, AGE 9

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -Will, AGE 7

the fact that a kid knows what cosmopolitan is still amuses me! lmao...

some minor changes

i set up some changes today, and so did the bf hehe. of course, for the very blind, i can point it out to you..

the background has changed, again. this time its a slight collaboration between me and jake, so all that we have left that's orginally from rachelle is just these pink boxes here that i write on. most of the work is done by jake, from the html adjustments that they will fit in, to the pict above, which was taken from some ragnarok fan art.

i am not exactly sure where the fan art came from however, due to the amount of webpages i surf per day. it would most likely be from hongfire or deviant art, since these are the 2 biggest galleries that i visit usually.

if u wonder why i dont bother making my own back grounds properly, the thing is, i am a total noob with digital art. even the smallest stuff, like the flowers floating left to right above, was all done by jake. i have ideas of what i want done, but i honestly have no idea how to make it without making it look like some kind of disaster. i am still learning however, and hopefully one day i can make something that's truly from my own fingers.

but dont hold your breath waiting for that to happen.

in the mean time, i have also added more blog links and songs.

both are long in coming, especially the blog links. half of the time i see something great, honestly good reads, and i haven't added them for the sheer lack of time and laziness. there's still more to come, but i have to really look through my history for a couple of them, so just wait while i add them and you can have more good reads while you are procrastinating (oh yer, i know, some sad people uses my blog as an excuse to procrastinate their assignments, and the sad story is, they actually come whine to me when i dont update as often as i used to Image Hosted by ImageShack.us ).

jake pointed out to me that, omgomg, our bandwidth has been totally under used! so, i shall lift the restrictions on you abusing the bandwidth on my radio blog, although, if you are going to be playing them for days on an end, it will still cause a problem for me. other than that, i have added slightly more songs.

most of the songs, you would have noticed by now, are fairly ah, old. the truth is, i haven't been able to download songs, legally or otherwise, due to certain restrictions. but the oldies are also the goldies! so enjoy them as much as you can Image Hosted by ImageShack.us and don't complain.

i would put up more pictures if i would in my album. but due to ah... my forgetfulness, i totally forgot to bring camera out during parties and so on. so well, till the next more eventful reason to bring it out!! sorry for all that hehe, for those clicking on the albums.

but i am sure i have taken enough pictures of butts to put them on the albums, maybe i should get round to putting it up!!Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

at any rate, these are the minor updates to this site. if you prefer not to be link, pls pls pls, learn to use the email button. i may or may not check my comments nor who the hell is upset at times, simply coz it's just weird, to me.

by the time i do check comments, coz it's worth the effort to, god knows how long you have been upset with me. so, learn to use the email button. it works.

fucking PISSED

i wish people would stop whining in a fucking game. especially when all i am doing is stating some examples and advices.

a few things i noticed about people in this game, is that they are just as materialistic in it as they are likely in real life. hey, in case you didn't notice, they are ingame piece of shit pixels. at the end of the day, u can be so fucking rich but the server will die and boom all data lost, i will be the one laughing here.

a few people i know play on shitty modems. 33.6k, 56k, 512 shared between what, 10 people? alc, the infamous dc-er, coz he lags the fuck out of the game.

in the past 3 days, i been whining about the lag in every single forum, in every single convo with my bf, but i just basically stuck it out on an alt, coz i need to farm anyways and lag seems a good excuse after goro almost died. unlike other classes in the game, i cant fucking just stand there and do nothing. other class could just lag out for abit but their characters had still be stabbing the stupid mob up it's hairy balls.

if i dont heal though, it's fucking game over. THAT my dear friends, is the difference. i could wipe an entire party. but the non existence of a dd, or a buffer, or a tank, doesnt HELL FUCKING make a difference.

it is, but a game, so don't give me shit about it, especially when i also help you with your character growth. and i didn't whine half as much handing you your first gear, or ignore u if u have any questions. i DO whine now, because most of YOU guys are at a level where you should know your individual classes more than me. don't fucking come to me, whine about you levelling slow as, whine about no gear, whine about no weapons. all of you, spare 1, are above lvl 52 now. go WORK for your fucking gear.

i wasn't put in game to support your fucking needs. when I, YES ME, started this game, i knew NO ONE. at lvl 25 i had only 200k on me, a top ng top, and a top d bottom, 2nd top ng weapon, which last me till i was 28, by the grace of a friend i finally met in game.

YOU GUYS on the other hand, only had to worry about the lesser bits to the game. yet you all seek TOP TOP TOP. go fuck yourselves. you think it is possible for a non-ebaying person to get top shit? think, go read.

l2orphus link is to your right. do your fucking homework for yourselves. i am not ur faq. GO READ. sit down, take 3, no 10 cups of coffee, since you like this game so much as you say, go do your fucking research for yourself. i have my own game to play, i didnt pay 15 bux a mth to be ur question bish, ur mats bish, ur maid or something. most of you are 21 and above, ur fucking LEGAL aged. that means u should have some form of maturity and brains to decide stuff for yourself.

just a fucking game and you can't make up your minds. don't say one thing and not do it. because if i did anything, it would be based on what you said in game. MY CLASS IS A FUCKING HEALER. while i may not need much stuff, i do have to go certain weapons and armour for better efficiency, which means i am poor most of the time. if i hear one thing from u, and not the other, i am just guna clear my warehouse coz i fucking need the money to.

it is BUT A GAME.

i do all i can to help. but i am, I REPEAT, not NOT not NOT your bish.

i ain't going to walk from one end of the map to another to pass you mats unless its along the way.

i ain't going to walk from one end of the map to another to get stuff from you, when i have been helping you, and you're just being a stinge when i dont usually do that to you. the only reason why i wouldn't leave toi, is because it's a bish to try and go up alone.

please remember, i wear ROBES, i have NO HEAVY ARMOUR MASTERY, therefore, in the same time it gets u to train a little from one corridor to the next, i had be dead 10 TIMES OVER. so don't give me bullshit like "oh ani, lvl 6-8 is the easiest" coz u can go fuck yourself and run thru there in slow mo, like i do, and wear my mage robes, and take off about 1k hp. THEN feel my pain when i die coz no one bothered.

if u want to remove me from toi, then kindly PUT ME BACK WITH YOUR OWN MONEY. i ain't going to spend 2 million in 1 week coz ur too fucking lazy to move me from one corner of the map that YOU PUT ME IN back to WHERE I PUT MYSELF ORIGINALLY. if you're that stupid, then u don't deserve to borrow my shit. if you delvl me, then LEVEL ME BACK LIKE YOU PROMISE TO. don't give me stupid excuses that you're too tired, you have work, coz guess what? SO DO I!!

back to my original point, i KNOW people who lags like fark, i DO lag like fuck for the last few days, so don't get on my arse like some know it all thinking i am bitching. i have my mouth, i was just giving an example why you shouldn't bitch, and what you could have done or try.

YOU play YOUR game, i play mine. IF YOU FEEL A COMPELLING NEED TO GIVE ME A BLOW BY BLOW ACCOUNT OF WHAT HAPPENED IN YOUR DAY, well then, be prepared to hear my point of view. YOU as my friends, should know more than others, how blunt i can be, and how i love to talk. IF I ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING I HAD SOMETHING TO BACK IT UP. i didn't just pull that out of my arse.

you want to complain about all that?

then it's your problem. go find the wall and bang your head on it a few times. it's not my fault that you're stupid.


at the end of the day, if the company goes bankrupt or stop bothering with the game, there's only just you and me left, no mobs, no armour, no mats, no nothing. IF YOU WANT TO PICK A FIGHT WITH ME ON A THING AS INTANGIBLE AS THAT, GOD UR FUCKED IN THE HEAD.


please go sit the fuck down, and think over what i said, how i have treated you from lvl 1-52, and then come back and tell me, that I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU, I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU, I AM A CHEAPO, I AM ETC.

when ur done, please strip ur gear fully and return all my money back to me. THAT my dears, are exactly how much i have helped you. because if i havent twinked you, you wouldn't even have the slightest ability to save up for those from 1-52. u would have start from NO GEAR, have to buy gears at great prices and sell them at lower prices, depending on wutever.

if i havent begged people for their weapons and armours to help lvl you, you would still be weaponless, coz you guys fucking just throw the money out when you get it. i had login and see, wtf, a dwarf have only 100k? get the fuck out of here.

instead, what did u do? u managed to keep whatever money u got, spare like a few hundred k that i asked for so that i could farm for your mats for c grades then b grades on my dorfs, requesting only that you raise a dwarf too, coz i cant fucking do this all by myself, I HAVE MY OWN CHARACTER TO PLAY.

how many of you hit lvl5 and then stop playing huh?

my dorf is lvl 30 with 80k sp now, with all her skills. DOES THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

the last 3 days of lag, you guys didn't even make an effort to lvl your dwarfs, but fucked around on 10th, on 5th, in TOWNS. u get xp in town? or does stuff drops from the sky?

i can go on, listing stupid ideas you guys come up with and follow through. but hey, it's ur game. if u want to pay 15 bucks a mth to bore yourself to death by staring at the same mobs again and again, then by all means, go farm stuff that isn't worth it. and when ur done, DON'T WHINE TO ME COZ I HAD ENOUGH.

i dont need a damage report from you,

i don't need your fucking complaints.

stfu and play or reroll or change games, i don't care anymore. but give me back the stuff i helped you with before you go, coz YOU DON'T FUCKING DESERVE IT.

none of you do.

remember, i have played this game for 1 month longer than the most experienced of the lot of you. i do know this game a tad more than you in some aspects because i been through most of it. if u don't trust me, think YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT, then by all means, re roll and hit 52 on ur own money, ur own gear, ur own game style. stop copying mine, STOP DOING WHAT AM DOING OR SENDING ME MASSIVE 1-LINERS TELLS.

they sadden me at how terrible u have become.

and before i pass out here at the pc, i wana wish you guys good night.

i am still your friend.

but ur game attitude SUCKS SHIT!


pictures of my little game

ok while it was fun talking to myself in the last post, i thought you guys might want to have a look of what i am talking about.

well at least parts of what i am talking about. if you want to view those TINY PICTURES... click ON THEM and they will OPEN A NEW BIGGER WINDOW!

here are the sexy half naked angels:

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strange people with too much time!! they draw these with the ingame money, which.. takes alot of skill that i dont have!!
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when we pvp-ed with the farmer, got mad and went red, this was eventually what happened, they bit the dust, while we went red... at lvl 75 this was pretty much the only way to see your xp bar moving...

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this was when anf was still playing =/ when they did clan lvl 4 quest and i helped them with it

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john had since left though

some of the uglier mobs we gotta fight.Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

thanks to etra, well and also the person who accidentally pk-ed him in their castle, i got a chance to enter oren castle, first time i was ever inside a castle and got to look around personally. this was taken inside the throne room. thumbnailed this coz it was too big

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this was during my first siege.. i havent been in much pvp before so this was like something exciting for me :P

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a new mob in c2, evil looking creepy chucky-like piece of shit.. they hurt lots too. this is the front and back view, go figure how she got her skulls :OImage Hosted by ImageShack.us

one of my favourite people in the game, totally not egoistic, doesn't talk much shit, although has a hot temper, fairly nice :DImage Hosted by ImageShack.us

this was the first time we have ever met cherub. i believe we were also the first to defeat him. back then, everyone thought he was hard to defeat and were scared of going near him. del, in his moment of lunacy, went to aggro it just to see how much damage it deals, while everyone was too scared to kill it.

in the end.. LOL, we killed it in a few minutes, the minions were actually the tougher ones, but they got out easy. :) got a demon sword blade from this. killed him 3 times more ever since.

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this is one of those orcs i was talking about. they get more ferocious looking i guess, but still doesn't make them less ugly or green..

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innadril.... so gorgeous...

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some of these "fantasy" places are sooo gorgeous, absoutelutely out of this world. then again they are pixels so oh wells =/ but then again, u start seeing such... things...

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ooo final picture i promise, this is what i got from linxy for easter!! i feel so bad, didn't get him anything >.> i was looking for this giant bunny :(

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a letter to a friend

i have never been a great fan of writing long emails, nor long letters. they make my hand twitch and want to shut something down, sometimes this refers to the word processors. between 14-20 i didn't quite have a pc though, because the last one broke down, and by sheer intelligence, my dad decided that it was my fault since i used it the most and somehow brought home some virus to it that decided to make the pc never to boot.

of course, we weren't connected to the net nor have i ever downloaded anything to a disk and brought it home to use. it was the era of floppy disks, nothing could really fit in there anyways. so when the pc finally died on us in the 3rd year or so of us having it, my dad concluded that i am a useless person and not worth bequeathing a pc to. as such, poor little me had most of my work, from projects to letters and more mostly hand written, occassionally visiting friends to use their pc and ink to do my work, if i deemed it worth the effort to.

the fact still remains though, at one stage i had about 30 penpals from various parts of the world. i was an avid writer to all of them despite the fact that i really hate penning all these letters down coz they are mostly the same but they are to various places and various people. note, this was way before the dot com boom too, thus net wasnt easily available nor cheap, so neither my penpals nor me have got emails accounts. neither was i any where near efficient with using the internet anyways. every month, i spent 30 dollars on my snail mails, because thats pretty much the stamp fees (like i said, most of them live worlds away...) but what kept me on was the cultures i was experiencing due to this "exchange" of words, however much or little.

eventually though, i lost interest in it, and had to stop penning all these letters because of the cost of it. after all, i was but a poor student, 5 dollars allowance a day and i pretty much spent it all at school. school work piles up during exam periods, resulting in me having to take 2-3 months hiatus from writing, by then, most of the time the addresses are lost. 2-3 months, for someone who digresses as much as me, translates to about a zillion pages of updating my friends.

anyways, amidst my recent spate of online gaming, i have met alot of friends the world over, although we don't quite "exchange" as much as normal people who don't game do, we still have forms of "exchanges" that results in mostly flames, and the showing of of their e-wangs. i sincerely believe that at times they think that with every word they shove in the forums, they think their e-penis and e-ego actually grows and makes them look like arnold schwarzenegger (or something like that) and that actually killing people in a game probably makes them the hero or someone deserving the medal of courage and honour.

these people really amuses me at the time and effort they spent on it to look like so.

one friend whom i have met and got to know better though, is a fairly intellectual guy from the states. for a while we kept losing touch with each other because he had a crazy email system in his college. but like me, he's an ingame slacker, perhaps more so than me because he is too lazy to pk or pvp, and doesn't fly into as much a rage as me when my alts whom i farm busily on, gets picked on by various shady characters.

not to mention, he writes in a humourous manner!

and then, i notice my silly trend of writing this fairly long email, perhaps unnecessarily giving him details he needn't know, but i can't help myself in digressing so far, and he does write fairly long too. so... it was all good :D

not to mention, me and my boyfriend's emails to each other hit the 20 page capacity at one stage, and i actually timed out on the 2 hours that our windows was supposed to stay open on our uni email system.

thus gmail and thus a blog started. well kinda.

to give you a gist of what i wrote, and what kind of length it's at...

here goes: (note: parts of it, to abbreviate abit, i did change some of the situations to him, but not so that the gist of it, the main problem was lost. eg, the stuff between jarad and anf)

Dear me0w,

hi! sorry it took me so long to reply this next one. i had a presentation on friday that took all my attention away, then a friend's birthday crept up. how people grow old so quickly! it amuses me sometimes!

you should really take care of your lungs and whatever organs that you might spew out in the process of coughing them out. you will still need them so remember to put them back. ^_^ have you seen the doctor for them? last i remembered actified compound linctus seems good for dry cough, but if its wet cough you are looking at, i can't remember the name of another company that is pretty good too. :)

:D well to start of with, i have certainly grown in terms of l2,thanks for you congrats though :D that was appreciated. somehow lol:D. i didn't quite died all that many times because of how neutral i was and how everything was kept away from where i used to lvl the most back in c1. however when c2 started, i realised i could solo in devastated castle. one time though i lagged real hard and subsequently died and dropped my gloves which, as you could see how poor i was back then, resulted in it being ate up by a farmer and almost didn't get itback. the clan leader though got it back for me, because it was someone i knew fairly well. other than that, i have went red about a few more times and havent actually got round to losing anything yet.:D isn't that awesome :D

raid bosses are like mini versions of antharas. they are interesting to get round to, but not worth sometimes the effort to kill them, as it does takes groups to kill them. there were plenty of raids to kill them, but most of my clan is in america which resulted them in planning at times when i desperately needed sleep or have class or assignments due :(

most of the mobs have gotten quicker though, so definitely harder to solo, although they promise a better balance in c3, with higher xp earned out in the open fields, hopefully this brings some people who prefers to solo back. but with the politics on kain, it is getting quite tiring, people get pk-ed on sight for certain people and so on,because clans claims zones to be theirs.

the main problem with my old clan was 90% of them were rl friends,and it started out with me being the odd one out. i was going to visit them, but recent arguments with jarad (inflict) made me not want to go, because i am not sure if i want to be meet up with a person who talks like he's better than me in a game and all heighty ho with me.the sad part to this end of the clan, was also that since anf quit the game, he has been giving out things to everyone he felt needs it.inflict already had his full top b gear that he needs from anf way before he left, so anf never gave him anything in terms of adena ormats or even items when he left. jarad/inflict, got mad at him and hasn't been talking to him irl since.

this really saddens me, after all, everything will be gone if the game dies and so on, but ur friend on the other hand exists irl. people don't tend to see beyond that and it irks me that jarad would treat anf like that, when they are rl friends.

well though i mentioned that they followed me into ds, so far the only person i have seen in the clans is just jarad. the rest seems to have mia after the initial week or so. mean while we do have a lot of sieges and pvp, ever since i joined anyways not so sure about before that. as per normal lotsa e-ego are injected into these so i have also grown to stop looking at shout chats because it just annoys me lol. we have innadril castle atm :)

with regards to drath, it wasn't hard to not notice him for 2 reasons,well 3 if you include his stupidity. his father told me exactly what he did and who he was, but never mentioned his lvl nor where he was lvlling so it made me feel safe for a while.

one day i was on my new healer alt that i made. and then i heard himon shout and thought, dang this person reminds me of drath. the only relief, it seemed, was how he was so up himself about him having a high lvlled alt. by now, you must understand, kain's version of high lvlled main/alt would be above 52 at least (chunk's alts are all 52+).far as i know, drath never went beyond 45.as you can see, i have this idea forming in my head by then that, nar it can't be drath. but when i walked closer to the above said character, his title was "drathiceblood" and he confirmed again on shout to someone that yes he was drath, and he has finally returned to the game with his dad and dad's support.

i logged off my alt immediately to put this new character's name on blocklist.

as for his dad, i must say he is a good sport! he didn't mind us gossiping about his son to him, and the fact he agrees with us, he might have been a victim of some of those... escapades.

atm we have some really sexy, hawt angels in toi aside from ur usual orcs and whatnots. they are profitable in many sense of the word, they drop mats like rain (16 craftedleather!!!) which people may need for various crafting reasons. mold hardeners for weapons are still a bitch though. these angels that i have mentioned, they can rezz themselves,which results in what we often label as angel 1 and angel 2. or fake and real. the fake often gives normal xp to everyone, like 4k xp or 6k xp. the real ones gives about twice to 3 times as much xp, ranging from like 10-18k xp per person depending on levels i guess.there are 2 big guys up on toi, one on 14th (if i count the lvls right) and one on 15th, which is the last floor. the cherub on the 15th is what most people beat up for fun. it is fairly weak, and drops good stuff, if u kill it often enough. the one on 15th though, is partof 2 quests. the first quest allows you to see him, the 2nd quest allows you to exchange your top b weapon for an a grade weapon.however, the 2nd quest is a pretty long and tedious one which will need alot of cooperations from many people, not very likely for kain i presume, because of the various politics.

most of the places now are not very well organised anymore, to add another dimension to the game. the cruma that u know is no longer the same cruma. there are more mobs, and more magical mobs so that you be more in need of low lvlled sword singers and more classes of healers than before. i think they are just training people to be abit more useful than they are so that they get "early training".

pk fights or pvp fights really, are more vs enemy clans. i guess itcant be help after all it is a hardcore pvp game and many people joined for that reason. i myself got pk counts more out of protecting my friends and my alts than really coz i went to pk anyone for a clan(note: i am a healer). the only other real fights otherwise, were mostly against farmers who got really strange and tedious. they decided to boot us out of toi one fine day ( i believe that was before aoi returned) and trained everyone on 10th and 9th. normally everyone ignores them coz they farm on floors no one levels in or just takes a small corner. so the entire toi revolted and pk-ed them. it took us about 8 hours or 10 hours, because of them running back up to try that on us again and again (in the process of running up they died too from mobs) which was a good break from the grind for everyone.i can't say it was the same for them.time is money for them.

i think subsequently they mostly left us alone, especially since everyone just camped their login spots when the server went into maintenance time and as soon as each logs in they were pk-ed, some went red by accident and drop stuff (we had a plan where people fd to pretend that some random hitting them went red, and they had go hit the randoms, who obviously wasnt red, and thus "went red" themselves, or the red bug worked on them.), all in all, it was a day of 12 hours shift for them where they earned nothing. i guess their boss were angry..

well most of the new areas in c2 are for lower lvls to lvl up in. like the alligator island and goe and so on. goe is an alternative to cruma, with the final lvls of it being the same as cruma 2. not so sure about alligator island, havent got round to visiting it.devastated castle though is just like a bigger version of forbbiden gateway. with all undead mobs but high lvlled mobs so that shud be what she shud be worried about. c3 is just more pvp oriented, more places, more advantageous for people owning castles to "own" a zone to lvl in as well. to solve the problems of cross ethnicity in a party,people have come up with really funny ideas, so we shall test it in c3:)

i understand what you mean by the griefers, the grind, the inconsiderate bunch of people in the game. i try to avoid the grind by having plenty of characters or just having an all out break that i feel i shud deserve for hitting a skill level (which is getting increasingly harder with each progressive siege.). as far as i could i will try to help those who get these kinda.. treatment, be they friends or foes. perhaps this is the reason why i ended up being in a predicament where sometimes my clan tends to think i might be a spy coz i am "friends" with the opposing clans too, but i still stand by the tagline that my clan do come first, but i don't need people to quit or be on an inbalanced stand when we fight 1 v 1, because it would be more fair to fight on the same strength, is it not?

there's only so much you can help yourself vs being hacked and/or scammed though. ultimately i guess, the only way to play it is being paranoid or being totally ignorant and have a "heck care" attitude about losing your stuff. in this game, people tend to lose stuff due to their own stupidity or others being total jerks. i have passed out my account info to clannies if they need to use it, but otherwise i remain paranoid about pw, changing them ever so often, and also randomnising them in my own head, so you get weird pw's like flitr230jb, which makes no sense whatsoever :o wow i made another newpw. shud use it somewhere :o

well, to be honest, i am not quite sure i want to leave university life yet. for one, i love studying, not in a bum kind of way, but i like to learn, like to listen to people teaching and passing on theirknowledge, learning from them the wealth of what they learnt. to actually move on from that, well i am not sure what i would do.before i joined, i had a fair idea of what i wanted to do, but after i joined, university life is so vastly different from high school life,perhaps more enjoyable because i can explore every single thing i wanted to at my own pace and people are more intellectual than those i have met before.

not to say i havent met my fair share of bimbos, male and females alike, but i have met more intellectuals here than in the past, where i was from this elitist school and everyone was supposed to be intellectual, but are obviously not.

oh yer i know in university life, we are supposed to have more intellectual people here. but from the various blogs online, the various news articles and so on and so forth, you might actually think otherwise.

for me, my university life consists more of new friends who are all crazy like me, a meeting with a new culture which i absoutelutly somehow love. they don't mind "crazy" people, everyone smiles on the streets and the opening words are often "how's it going?" rather than a stiff "good morning" or nothing at all, depending on where you go. i dont feel half as restricted to be a rat in the paperchase that seems so necessary in singapore, i feel i can be myself which i have mostly been a part of.

so i guess for me, despite all the various illness, the missing of singapore and it's food and my own brood of weird friends, i did enjoy my uni life. the first 6 months were harsh, but after that everything was a blast. :) the only thing i realllyyyy need to learn though, is how to drive. i am 23, and driving still seems like a skill vastly beyond me! i really ought to get round to it.oh wells.

well, it is a sunday i should get round to going church and so on.

bye byes my dear feline friend :D

^.^ ani

if you havent a clue about the top half of what i am talking about, i would suggest you email me to get a trial account (which happens to be ending soon) and start playing or head over to the lineage 2 link over there -------------------------> and find out for yourself.


this is gh3y. i have typed out 2 fairly long posts and regardless of the new recover post button, it wasn't saved, and the server went kaput after i tried to post. so well fuck that. i will post tomorrow when the server is less of a menace to me.


mail order partners

notice the title for this is mail order partners? well... hrm, seems like some women do look for hubbies online too, not that it's a regular happening.

anyways, i was browsing around amidst readings (YES I DO STUDY OMG!!!!) and this caught my eye! our teenage friendly newspapers in singapore now have a news blog!! weird. anyways, why did it catch my eye?


so i was like ooerrrr interesting!!! let's read it!! you must understand, ever since i discovered such a thing as MAIL ORDER PARTNERS a few years ago, i got fairly intrigue by it. i mean, in this modern day and time, it's really rare to find a matchmake couple, much less one which either one of the parties (or even both of them) willingly undergo matchmaking, to find themselves the right husband/wife.

then it turns out, wow, lotsa people do it!! why? because, according to the newspaper that day in singapore, singaporean women are now high flyers with higher expectations! people without a bachelor's degree or a polytechnic diploma finds it hard to get married, get a girl friend, much less have a family. so, the "about to pass the treshold" group of people would make use of the matchmaking agencies and get themselves a fresh young bride from other countries, generally vietnam, far as i know.

there's also this thing from the article that said that these men were also looking for obedient, quiet wives who wouldn't argue or goes out much, wives who wouldn't expect to spend much and is just the perfect typical asian housewife. you know those types, cleans, feeds the children, does your washing, does your shopping, MAYBE EVEN FETCH YOUR SLIPPERS!! the point they were trying to say was, singaporean women were too intelligent, they would actually get inquisitive, and are generally bolder than such mail order brides.

so anyways. this article sets it from the other point of view.

the mail order bride's.

it's like this. they come with expectations of how singaporean men, singapore and it's culture and society is like. then, something happens. the men they meet are *shock, horror* not up to their expectations! and so they ditch the men that they were suppose to be married to. there are other stuff in that article too but at this point i am going to point out something.

they probably expect something like these..

then... they probably expect at least these....

photos courtesy of auto consumer guide and dover parkview apartments, singapore.

at any rate, they all do come with certain expectations, and for a huge number of them, all they want is a caring husband who won't abuse them, and a community that will accept them and easy for them to adhere to. the sad story to it is that not all of such match making fulfils all these.

for those who actually read the article, you would notice at the bottom they say "'Overseas men are less violent and more loving to their wives.' "

well. opinions differ. i would love to say that that might be true. but the truth is, everywhere, a violent man would exist. the only thing that would be different would be laws with regards to a violent husband. like how certain countries would turn a blind eye to a violent husband, because it is all right to chastise your wife in their society.

but if it's inherent in their nature to be violent and not so loving, it is their nature, not the country that affects that. it's a part of their behaviour, not the geography of where they belong.

some other times, the ridiculous part is they come over expecting oo riches, and then they see these...

then they freak and run home.

sigh..... no marriage is perfect huh? :D oh wells....

life and death

in the past week, 2 fairly prominent men have passed on at a ripe old age.

they aren't very close to me, nor related to me in anyway. the circumstances swirling around their deaths made my feel many different things though.

the pope died over the weekend, and the world now mourns the loss of a great man who tried to bridge various religions and repairs relationships with the Roman Catholic Church.

he's an old man, having survived an assasination attempt, i must say, he must have felt great to help lead the church till his death at a ripe old age. his travels, his speeches, his strong unwavering faith, it is an inspiration to many people, especially to the people of his motherland, Poland.

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this is the picture of a man, who gave up his life for his faith.

in his death though, people started talking about how the next pope would not be as great as him, how the next pope, if he even is half as good as John Paul, then it would be good enough. the comment list went on for a long time, all courtesy of BBC news by the way.

i don't know if you see the problem here, but actually i do. letting go of our beloved pope, in his death, is going to be a hard thing. most people relate to him in the vatican city, and many Polish people looked up to him as an inspiration. his death, was "closer to that than of our own grandparents, parents and relatives.." as quoted from someone. that i understand. well kind of.

but if you're not going to give the next pope a chance to prove himself, if you believe in God above, then you would believe in the choice that is to come. Pope John Paul was old. It is his time to meet with the One he has so faithfully been serving, let him go. Isn't that one of the best rewards someone cane get, for serving a master for so long? he's alive, in heaven. that's what we were taught.

the next Pope, as the leader of the church and elected by cardinals, would be as great to the people as the Popes of the past. the church had a very very long, and sometimes turbulent history, with weak and strong popes, sometimes violent. but they are all human, they all make mistake. however, they all have one thing in common. they all walked the same path of the clergy, swearing off all earthly pleasures (although, yer, lotsa them in the past also had flings, some rumoured to have children, go figure) and that, is something to think of in it self.

most of us cant even live without thinking of how to have the most gains for ourselves. (yes i know u guys guna tell me catholic church also happens to be very rich. stop being a tool.)

then, u got idiots who makes full use of this situation to turn thing in their favour. Hey, someone just died, be reasonable, be respectful. don't be a tool and deliberately perseceute more people, because you look like you're really perseceuting their faith.

if you have no idea wtf i am saying, read this. farking pos. trying to assert ur "power" or lack thereof in a time like this is sooo wrong. at any rate, it is already wrong to block off the vatican and tell them to stfu just because they recognise taiwan as a sovereign state.

you lost taiwan's loyalty, face it. get over it, and just let them be already, then maybe you won't look so much like a prick.

bleah... the sun is up. time to get some work done. bye people :D


fear the panda!!!!


reasons why i should not be provoked!
do not, on any circumstances, prance around your living room, with the balcony window and curtains all drawn wide apart, thinking ur a ballerina.

no matter how much you love dancing, pretending that you did not do weird poses in the living room will not save you from the embarassment later, especially if the car driving in happens to be someone u know.


as i got home just now, i changed to my short shorts, you know, the ones you romp around ur bed in, in your room with, basically on your own. of course, with the luxury of linxy being at work, i felt a sheer liberty to do that in the living room too, AFTER i left windows and curtains opened, since every now and then i feel the need to air the apartment.

my short shorts with my thunder thighs. stuff that i wont ever walk out in, fearing to scar people's memories.

anyways, so i was dancing, arabesque and all, in the living room. when lo and behold, a neighbour drove home. as everyone should know, i live above the carpark, with the entrance directly below my balcony, which was infront of my living room. since i have terrible eyesight, i couldn't see in all my blindness who was the driver, but i do know SOMEONE DROVE THAT CAR SAW ME DANCING!


i started pretending i was about to fall, and did pretend to fall. and that all that prancing was just a marvelous act of trying not to fall. don't blame me, i was embarassed at that point in time, therefore the need to do stupid stuff without thinking.

then, i put on a serious face and walk out to the balcony, trying to get some reading done for the assignment due this friday, still pretending not to notice the intruder. then she yelled "PANDA!!! IS THAT YOU!?!?!?! ARE YOU MY NEIGHBOUR!?!?!"


*tries to calm down*

she effectively blocked the small driveway to the car park, trying to talk to me and stuff from my balcony to her car, and me, tried to hide my embarassment as much as possible.

apple was from burgie like me, a dorm that had lotsa friends, laughter and of course it's own drunken cliques. she was one of the more popular people, along with her boyfriend, whom i was fairly close with at one stage. so the fact that she moved out surprised me abit, but then again, looking at it now, it shouldn't have surprised me so much since quite a number of the hippy bunch that i do know of have moved out. i am not particularly close to most of them since, i ain't a drinking type, party type nor understand their jokes and pranks.

i am weird that way.

but apple isn't exactly the mean sort or the wild drunk sort, although when she does get drunk, she gets VERY drunk and hilarious.

anyways, she left dorms because her parents were upset with the dorm. they left many many MANY letters addressing her food allergies, to which they have acknowledged and many even knew about that she was allergic to peanuts. the horrifying part to all of this was, last year, they had peanuts in a chocolate creme thing they passed out, and did not notify her about it. normally she would have noticed the peanuts, but it being a creme thing and it wasnt like in massive easy to taste and realised pieces, she ingested them and yer, her throat swelled and she started having difficulty breathing.

amidst all that horror, she managed to clear her mind and got to the hospital and stuff and got pumped with steroids and adrenalin and shet to clear her system. when she approached the kitchen staff later, all they said were "oh, we're sorry."

the ridiculous part was, she could have died.

and all they could say was "oh we're sorry."

how do you say sorry to a dead person you twats? what is so wrong with you guys that u do not understand FOOD ALLERGIES?

admittedly she and her parents could sue the dorms, but i think they wanted less hassle, and thus moved her out, where she could at least know what she is cooking, more or less.

dorms are retarded >.>
getting ready for class today i decided to set up shop in town in my little lineage 2 game. trying to sell my stuff isnt easy >.>

at any rate, there was this guy who was on friendly terms with my friends' clan. somewhere the other night, he messaged my friend from a different character pretending to wana join their clan. then he started talking extremely good about himself, saying that he heard that "ser" (which is himself) was very nice, a lvl 70 character (maximum lvl is 75), 7 foot tall and breathes fire...

naturally, i wanted to do something interesting to him.

so i pretended to be a chinese farmer in the game. they are called so because they dont necessarily level, they just play the game to earn pixelised money and then sells it on ebay. yes, there are such hopeless fools who buy them because they love to spend more money than necessary on a game.


here was the result.

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he's an american, who obviously does not speak chinese, much less hanyu pinyin, so, i was tearing myself laughing ^_^

gotta love his gullible nature hahahahaah


i have a problem

when your lineage 2 account looks like that

you have a slight problem. it means that you need to 1) get a life 2) stop wanking to pixels and 3) stop behaving like a bot/farmer.

then again. this probably best be said to myself :O

siege today has drained me out so i will post some other time. the short story is, i died 20 times or so, went from 15% into 64 to 94% of 63.

don't you feel the love!!!!! :P

gnite :)


a woman died yesterday. her name was theresa marie schindler.

a person said by her friend to be quiet, with her pets outnumbering her friends because she was shy, and who didn't like the limelight, her death was fairly... public.

she wasn't a superstar, she wasn't even a public figure of any sort. but her life after her accident, in her vegetative state, she became the icon of several legislative arguments, the reason for lotsa protests, and lotsa angst.

her conditioned lead to the break down of relationships between people, her death caused more angst than her life, because of her husband's request for euthansia. because, he claims, she would have wanted it.

her parents went thru several appeals to keep her alive, coz they believe the doctors were wrong, that she still had a chance to recover, their proof being her random smiles and eye movements.

in their grief of their loss, they fail to see, that in all likelihood, teri isn't going to come back. through, there have been cases, very rare cases, of people in coma woke and kinda lived. this is a person though, who have un-seeing eyes, who smiles as normal reflexes because reflexes aren't wholly part of the thinking process.

this is a person who's soul left us 15 years ago. and we are torturing their spirit by letting them watch what we are doing to their physical being.

a shy person pushed into the limelight, her loved ones not willing to let her go emotionally, thus causing uproars everywhere.

i wouldn't want that.

i know, that as a catholic i am supposed to be pro life, against abortion against euthanasia. that God is the giver and taker of life. we shouldn't be the ones who are allowed to have this "decision" because we can abuse it.

but if it's me lying on the bed there, i think it's kinder to let me go. i don't wana be there to strain relationships, to be a burden to the ones i love for they have their own journey to continue on. and the start of letting go of their grief is that i'm not there physically to egg them on.

people may say it's not a burden to carry for someone you love. yer. i know. have you look at it from the point of view of the one who's being tubed and in the hospice?

if i am not up and moving in 3 years or 5, then i am not likely to recover. if my brain is filled with more water than it should, then i don't think i can think can i? bear in mind i am no medic, i don't know the technicalities behind it. but i also don't want to be pushed into a limelight, as a basis of new laws, campaigns and so on, because my life was my life.

i am not sure if i had lived it to the fullest, or if had did all that i wanted to. but if it's time to go, i wana go and see God as soon as i can, without worrying about people hoping i had return, people arguing over what is just a... skin.

i love you guys. :)