my friend asked me this on her blog, so i decided maybe i should just reply here coz by the time i was ready to comment and tried to summarise it, it almost became essay length hehe....
Why romance stories are so boring to some of us?
Well, for one, more often than not it's a happy ending. if it's not happy ending, it's a super tragic ending where the living half would have learnt something but is unable to move on for the dead one. amidst all that, the middle of that is often terribly happy happenings, at least in the part in how they found each other, lalala, and then tada!! they are soul mates! wah so heng...
most of such books are predictable (then again, i have read like a grand total of 12 romance books so far or something, and more coz the cover's female has a huge bosom or they are pink in colour or something...) and while we had still cry at their predictability, we even desire to be like those main characters, they just don't hold our attention.
because we already know they won't happen and that imagining it happen just hurts our head and heart because you and i, one of us, at least 9 out of 10 have been hurt before in the name of love. these books hits us like a slap in our face that, hey, someone got it better out there, hah u suck!
yer it feels like that sometimes.
how does a person stay so cynical of love then?
coz, u know, despite ur subconscious knowing that books and tv arent real, that despite all that fiction, a part of u wish that u would have this gallant knight in shining armour come and sweep u off ur feet and then bring u in this circus of love and then u stay there happily ever after..
not likely to happen.
YES happily ever after happens, just not the way it happens in books and in movies, in series or in ur wildest dreams. every relationship have their own up and downs, ins and outs. no 2 person is going to be perfectly at ease with each other, not likely to argue, not likely to disappoint one another. hell, u even disappoint ur parents at some stage, who's to say about someone who's not related to u.
it's like this family thing but with someone else who's not in ur family, who's not familiar with u.
while no one expects the other half to totally aquiesce to them, or to be utterly romantic, there are still expectations, there are still differences and sometimes, it eats away at u.
i remember an ex colleague, she had a not so perfect marriage to a guy coz she was pregnant. they weren't exactly very madly in love before marriage, even she admitted that she only married coz of the kid, and to "try things out", in her own words.
in the end, the smallest thing pisses her off, even before her kid was born. the way he snores at night, how he turns in bed till he was "upside-down" while he's sleeping, how he can't sleep with music on while she needs to have some music on.
it's when the breakdowns occur, the break ups that happen, the tears that u shed for the men that walked out of ur life, for the un-reciprocrated love that u spent sleepless nights on, that u turn a cynic. rl never seems to run like the books u read, the movies u cry over, the lyrics u hear.
but rl, is also more than a day, more than a few hours, more than cameras, lights, ink and paper. it takes 2 hands to clap, 2 lives to bend so that they may compromise, that's what, in my opinion, love is.
of course don't be an idiot and compromise and change urself so utterly that u aren't yourself anymore. i mean, for fucks sake, he loves u then he gotta love all of u, isn't that what he fell in love with in the first place? if it isn't then he isn't worth a single bit of ur time just move on.
i know, i can be wrong. i am speaking from my own personal point of view, with my not so vast experience with guys. but i do know at least my mum, my friends all had their various expectations of what kind of guys they want. and everyone of them had their expectations fell short.
one had a boyfriend who had do anything for her, but has a temper the temperature of a volcano, with equal efficiency at erupting.
another married a man thinking she can be a rich bum, but never got round to being a rich bum...
another had a boyfriend who would even wipe her tears away that she may never be hurt again by anyone... to be the same person who abuses her.
and then the guys have their own bad share of girls too. one had a girl who went cheated on him.
another guy lost his gf to an online dude coz he wasn't as romantic as him, or as hard working as that guy to travel the distance to meet her (then again, singapore is only about 33km by 40 km or something like that, how far the hell u want him to travel anyways bitch?)
so tell me, is it wrong to be a cynic?
then again.. is it wrong to be a hopeful person?
both answers are.. not really.
then u hear songs like beautiful soul, i need you and i can't live a day without you blah blah blah...
you watch shows where the guys had die so that their girls can live... and then u wonder where's prince kermit....
he does exist.. somewhere out there. sorry to say, some of them are damn hum ji. if not most of them. they might never die for u, they might never give up their 837108313212 paying jobs so that they can move away with you to never never land.
BUT! some of them have balls!!!! remember Andrea D'Cruz and Pierre Png?!?!
ya! he donated his liver to her when her diet pills caused her to have a liver malfunction or something... so there's hope!! ^.^ it was a dire situation admittedly, not like its a show or something, but, everyone of us out there wanted to have a special someone who would do something for us like that. and few people, very handful few would actually do such a thing, despite whether they say they would or not.
i think their story actually made everyone's day and sigh hard and wish their boyfriends/girlfriends would do the same for them too. unlike shows, stories and other fictictious stuff, their's real.
they are real!
have hope!! cynical is ok!! but don't let it bog u down!!!