waking up

tissue paper

crumpled bags

clothes strewn over the floor, spread by time and space.

uncleaned dishes

more personal items.

sounds like a crime scene.

no it's my damn room which has gone to hell ever since i got sick coz i was just too sickly to bother cleaning up. now i wake up, look at it all and go, what the hell.

i curl up in my bed for more warmth as i find air to breathe.

i hate being sick, makes me feel so vulnerable. makes me feel so unclean.

my only comfort is, that my stuff are so little it's easy to clean up without worrying about too much time effort and dust and dirt. although i know i would worry about them anyways, and set about vacuuming it up.

and i have grown so disinterested in everything around me, l2 included. i don't know what i am doing. stupid sickness. but l2 wise, i guess it's not my being sick that's at fault.

since a while back i have started picking on who i should party with to lvl and what not, and one by one these people are quitting or not logging on as much anymore. i guess that's the sad part about being a healer where one must always find someone to party with to lvl efficiently... i am not all that adaptable at times, especially when i know that putting myself in other parties might result in me being frustrated coz other people might be stupid and so on.

i have started a new character but i do not know if i would reroll. all my past friends are dwindling and at some stage all would be gone. the only reason i played this game so much was coz of the people, they made it fun, i made it fun. now playing alone, is going to be so... not awesome.

school wise, i kinda don't know what to do coz suddenly, seems like i won't be working for the job that i desire.

oh wells. time will tell, time will tell.

meanwhile, i feel like attacking some stupid plumber... so that my filters and all will be fixed.

and dad just called, asking for english services (aka, how do you spell this!!! help me write a damn letter!!! but all in english!!!) and then laughed at my coughing, telling me that i shouldn't have visited antique... -.-

and would a certain boyfriend come over and clean my room? kkthx.

(boyfriends are part-time maids)

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