a long time ago i would write short stories, or series at times when i feel like it, and wanted so much to be a writer, because it was fun and was a form of escapism.

my secret to writing it well, as teachers used to say they were, were also the fact that they were my form of leaving where i was sitting to wherever and whatever i was writing. at times i had write so much and write so fast, that i had be panting and in pain at the same time, because i didn't have a pc. or well, i had a pc, but it died pretty fast.

in the process of writing, the story itself developes in my mind, like a movie that was unseen and i just let it flow from mind to paper. it seemed like the most natural thing to do and to allow to happen. for stories to tell me what they are, for characters to tell me their names.

when i am done with them, i wouldn't and couldn't correct my errors. there had be spelling errors or grammatical errors, basically from writing too fast and from having shaky hands. i just feel like, if i correct the tiniest error, i had tweak the story at times, and by the time i am done with corrections, the story is often no longer the same. and at times, because of the teachers' corrections, this is pretty often the case. they like to suggest stuff into certain paragraphs sometimes, which obviously was never part of the movies.

and me being the dictator of the story would refuse to hand in the corrections.

and i often get punished for "not doing her homework".

when exams came along, classmates had sometimes turn to me for help. i could mostly not hold a proper argumentative essay well, but a fictitious one was fairly easy for me so my classmates had come and asked me for advice and such.

i tried to explain about the movie thing and so on, but no one could get the idea easy, and even if they do, they still get penalised for bad english which also results in similar marks anyways. considering how most of them who asked for help refused to speak even proper english at school or something, i wasn't surprised.

i am not trying to be snobby, i don't have perfect english either. i just feel that attempting to hold proper conversations or have some proper form of english around you at times, rather than just 30 mins- 1 hour of the day would probably help better.

fast forward a couple of years, i started teaching tuition. few students i get actually cared about the tuitioning. they just complied with it coz their parents wanted it for them. i managed to bond with two of them at most, because we just clicked. they too, were just fulfiling parents' orders. the difference was, because we clicked well, we managed to do better and actually fulfil their parents' orders because we clicked and didn't try to rub each other sideways.

both kids were.. saggitarius (maybe that meant something) and one of them i still keep in touch. the other one, she moved and i changed my numbers right at that point in time where she was suppose to tell me where she moved to. so everything just fell out of place.

funny thing is, how we all grow up, and watching both kids grew, i kinda feel proud of them like they are my own kids. both's comprehension of english got better coz i was a part of it. they had problems with their new tutors (since i got here to study) and they had write to me about it.

i miss them, and at some point in time i guess i would go visit them when i get a chance to go back.

for viv, who just graduated from primary school and did fairly well in her first semester in secondary school, congratulations my dear... let nothing hold you back nor pull you down. :)

Song I am listening to: Whitney Houston - My Love is Your Love

Mood: Reminiscent...

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